Ten years ago, I gave him a 4 week old son as a 21st birthday present.  Try as I might, I just couldn’t get that immaculate conception thing going this time around to recreate the magic that was spawning his child at the tender age of just-past-nineteen.  He’ll live.  And will probably give me the candy and chocolates for not giving him a repeat heart attack.

Tonight I have working on part of his present.  I won’t say what it is, so don’t ask.  And not because I’m worried he’ll work it out by reading my blog because hello? He’s vastly unimpressed with the whole blogging wife scenario to be honest.  Actually, even when he knows what it is, I don’t think I can mention it here on the blog.  Get your mind out of the gutter!  It’s not that!  No, this thing has to do with his profession (which we like to keep under wraps in Bloggityville for security reasons) and involves an inside joke.  So really, it wouldn’t have made a lick of sense to any of you anyway.  You’re welcome.

Tomorrow is a seriously massive day actually.  Of course TH’s birthday shines front and centre but then there’s an excursion for First Heart Attack (aka, Master J) during the day and Boof and Moo’s school’s Christmas concert in the evening.  J is going to a Christmas lunch/party put on by the Variety Club, a children’s charity.  This particular party is held every year for special needs kids and is just wonderful (Aussies: Donate to the Variety Club.  My son thanks you).

This week sees us launch into the busiest two weeks of the entire school year by far.  We’re in the last of our school year before a 6 week break (school resumes in the last week of January for the new school year).  EVERY SINGLE DAY has four or five tasks or events going on specific to this time of the year - it is utter chaos  Next week, I have to bring a plate of morning tea to two separate class events Moo is involved with - on consecutive days.  Guess what I’ll be doing on the weekend?  And I just worked out I have just TWENTY shopping days left (we’re travelling).  EEEK!

On a pleasant note - I have two new shows to watch this summer.  We get all sorts of US television programs in weird convoluted timeframes - and summer, when the ratings season has ended and the networks are looking to fill spots or to try out shows they’re not sure will take off down here, usually sees an influx.  Last night I watched Army Wives and tonight it was Eli Stone.  Can see myself getting right into the last one although the opening story about the MMR vaccine causing a little boy’s autism kiiiind of grated just a little.  Just a little bug bear of mine.  Apart from that, a good show.  Although, I do have George Michael’s “Faith” running through my head on a loop…grrr…

And on that note, I’m off to throw together a batch of brownies.  I am SO looking foward to the slower days of summer!

Welcome to the Christmas edition of getting to know your friends.

Wrapping paper or gift bags?
Wrapping paper.  During one of my oft-begun but never finished crafting surges I was determined to switch the entire family to fabric gift bags, lovingly hand stitched (of course) by me, but the thought of sewing so many straight seams made me want to pluck out my eyelashes one by one - and so it remains a far off dream.

Real tree or Artificial?
Artificial.  And it took me many years to get that.  I distinctly remember having to beg and cajole Talented Hubby to upgrade from our 2 foot table top tree - you know the sort, it comes complete with the decorations already hung and is bought at the grocery store!  We used that sad little thing for several years until my obvious charm won him over and we upgraded to a 6 footer.  I fondly remember the real pines of my childhood - although my mother was caught muttering about pine needles and clutching the vacuum cleaner in a death grip more than once.  The smell though! It just screams Christmas.  I miss that.

When do you put up the tree?
In our house, we’re under strict conditions not to drag the box out until December 4.  The reason? Talented Hubby’s birthday is the 3rd and the poor mite hates the trauma of sharing December enough as it is.  The man prefers to believe the world is just getting really excited about him turning another year older.  Me? I’d love a December birthday.  But then, I am a Christmas nut, so…

When do you take the tree down?
Well, officially after New Year’s Day.  We usually manage to procrastinate until at least the middle of the month, if not later though.

Do you like eggnog?
I’ve never had it.  Milk and eggs?  Does it actually have eggs in it?

Favorite gift received as a child?
Easy - my Cabbage Patch Kid (the original run - ahem).  Her name was Beatrice something-or-other but I called her Cabbie because I was oh-so-sophisticated.  I remember pitying my friend who had a CPK called Tiffany.  I much preferred Stephanie and couldn’t imagine having to put up with Tiffany.  Like I said, sophisticated, LOL.

Hardest person to buy for?
Talented Hubby, 100%.  He’s a careful spender, so his idea of good gifts pretty much boil down to practical, useful things, and with rare exceptions, he will generally talk himself out of even those.  So when a gift-giving occasion rolls around, he has a hard time giving anyone a list of what he’d like, because in the back of his mind, he’s calculating whether it’s worth spending the money.  The only ‘hobby’ he’s into is photography, but I know nothing at all about that so would never attempt to buy him any equipment on my own.  He has ideas about features he likes and brands and whatnot and I am utterly clueless, so what usually happens is I’ll give him ‘mad money’.  He’s HORRIBLE about spending it though.  He’s got several hundred dollars worth of mad money socked away on a spreadsheet and won’t spend it!  Then there’s me, who has a running list of ‘wants’ and when I get a little extra, I’ve already ordered from Amazon before 9am on my birthday/Mother’s Day or something, LOL.

Easiest person to buy for?
Probably the kids, collectively, because they’ve usually squawked about this or that toy, puzzle or game countless times by the time the shopping season rolls around.  That does not mean they get it!  But it’s fairly clear what their top three gifts would be.  This year, we’ve scaled it right back and are pooling most of the money we would have spent on them individually, and putting it toward the complete Guitar Hero band set.  EXPENSIVE.  But it’s something the whole family will get loads of use out of, compared to individual toys that lose interest within the month.

Do you have a nativity scene?
Nope, though I think it would be cool to have one:)  Willow Creek does a really lovely, simplistic nativity that’s about on my level.  I’m much more inclined toward neutrals and earth tones rather than elaborate, colourful plastic things.

Mail or email Christmas cards?
Where’s the third option for ignoring them altogether? LOL.  Every year I say I’m going to do it and every year I don’t.  The kids all give a card to every one of their classmates - over 60 kids in total - so I reckon I’ve licked enough envelopes in my time!

Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
A voucher to a music store when I was about 8 years old.  Sounds pretty good on the surface but it was for a store in an entirely different state and that was back in the day before the Internet so you had to actually be physically present to redeem it.  Special mention also goes to a present Master J received once.  One of his uncles gave him a scuba mask and snorkel set.  He was TWO.

Favorite Christmas Movie?
Ooooh - it’s a three way tie between Love Actually, The Polar Express (we just watched that one last night - love it) and Miracle on 34th Street (the newest one).  I am such a sap for holiday movies though.

When do you start shopping for Christmas?
Ordinarily I’m starting to think about it not long after my birthday on October 3rd.  If I’m particularly on the ball I’ll have bought a few things for the gift drawer in the mid-year sales or at other places as they’ve jumped out at me for particular people (you know how you sometimes find that perfect present in the weirdest of places? In like March or something?).  This year, we’ve pared right back on the gifts.  I’ve done no really specific shopping yet, except for the purchase of Guitar Hero a couple of weeks ago when it was on sale.  There are a few reasons for this.  We’re travelling over the holiday season and after one year where we trudged ALL the presents with us to our destination, we worked out we were stupid and would never do that again.  We’re also going away for longer than usual and need the car space for suitcases.  And lastly, our focus this year has been on the ‘couple of bigger gifts, not so much ’small stuff’ approach and neither of our two big ticket items (Guitar Hero and a new puppy) travel particularly well.  We will have one medium gift and possibly one small one for each of the kids, as well as gifts for TH’s parents and brother, to take with us, and we’ll do the whole stockings bit, but no masses of individually wrapped things like we’ve done in the past.  It has actually been quite freeing.

Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
Um…the snorkel set, LOL.  And a duplicate milkshake maker and Christmas crafts book because we already had the same ones.

Favorite thing about Christmas?
Being with family, and continuing our traditions.  A lot has changed over the years but there are still some things I’ve kept from my own childhood - my parents were big Christmas fans - which I’ve tried to keep going with my family.  Things like what we serve for the big meal, to the brand of after dinner mint we have when we’re all stuffed and sick in the evening, LOL.  A whole raft of stuff.  Talented Hubby might not share my uber-enthusiasm but allows me to go a little crazy and obsessed and for that, I adore him!

Lights on the tree?
Gosh, I don’t know.  I love the look of lights but stringing them seems like such a hassle.  We’ve used the same couple of 20 bulb strings for years and years so we haven’t got an elaborate set up or anything but I guess we do throw them on as best we can for the atmosphere.  We only turn them on every now and then though.

Favorite Christmas song?
This is totally parental influence from when I was a child at home, but I love all the old time Christmas classics.  Anything by Nat King Cole - Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire is a fave - Frosty the Snowman, Silver Bells, White Christmas, all that stuff.  Plus the usual Carols.  TH could care less about music at Christmas and likens the whole thing to fingernails on a blackboard.  Bah humbug to him!

Travel at Christmas or stay home?
I can’t remember the last time I had a Christmas at home.  I actually kind of miss it.  We’ve been in this house - our first non-rental - for three and a half years now, so this will be our fourth Christmas, and we’ve never hosted.  In the early years, work commitments kept TH forcibly near home - every Christmas for the first 6 or 7 years I knew him, he had to work on the day - but now that he has progressed (new job, new working arrangement) we’ve had a run of about 4 or 5 years where he’s had enough time off to make travel worthwhile.  As I’m big on family at Christmas, I prefer to be with others and a ‘just us’ celebration, while with it’s merits, doesn’t sound, I don’t know - as Christmassey to me somehow.  So we travel.

Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer’s?
Um, not off the top off my head…I get about ¾.

Angel on the tree top or a star?
Star.  But I must say, we’re due for an upgrade - we have a gold star and a red star and I’m sick of looking at the both of them!

Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
Opening presents on Christmas Eve is totally banned.  Totally.  No exceptions.  The deal is, the kids can wake us from, say, 6am and we’ll open the stockings right away, but then we force them to wait until after breakfast for the good stuff.  My parents did it that way - mmm, bacon and eggs with orange juice - so we do it that way :)

Most annoying thing about this time of the year?
The crowds, which are everywhere I am and never where I’m not.  And witnessing over-spending by people who can least afford to put things on credit.  That makes me sad.

Favorite ornament theme or color?
I’m a two-tone girl.  I don’t so much like green though - hanging green on a green tree just doesn’t sit right with me somehow.  I love purple/silver or blue/silver but as we’re still using the same old set of ornaments from the dark age we have red and gold.  I think this year I’ll allocate some cash to the after Christmas sales and restock.  Oh, and we buy a new clay-dough ornament for the kids each year and write their names and the year on the back - Moo has angels, J has Santas and Boof has Christmas trees/snowmen.  One day when they leave home they’ll have a nice little collection to start off their own trees :)

Favorite Thing for Christmas dinner?
We start eating around 11:00 and pretty much go through till 7:00, on and off.  There are no definitive ‘meals’ on the day.  Just one big smorgasboard, LOL.  And I’ll let you in on a little secret - we don’t serve turkey.  Wanna know why?  Because it has always confounded me to see such ridiculously overpriced poultry for the holiday season when, ordinarily, Australians aren’t that big on turkey the rest of the year.  We can get like ginormous turkey drumsticks, or perhaps some mince (ground turkey) in most major supermarkets year-round, but down here we don’t even have Thanksgiving, so Christmas has the turkey monopoly and boy, does it get exploited.  For the price of one turkey big enough to feed the 10-12 people MIL usually hosts each year, with leftovers, she could buy three or four chickens.  And as she also serves ham and generally lamb as well, spending a bajillion bucks on a turkey that pretty much tastes like chicken anyway, has never made any sense to me at all.  Even when I hosted at home, I always did chicken due to economics.  It’s the side dishes that make the meal anyway - we MUST have cauliflower and white sauce, pumpkin, roast potatoes, corn on the cob, beans, carrots, stuffing, gravy…you get the idea.  OH, and MIL’s awesome Raspberry Malteser Icecream Desert.  I am not much for traditional pudding either.

What do you want for Christmas this year?
I am so lame.  I want laundry baskets and a new vacuum cleaner.  But technically I already got my Christmas present along with my birthday present in October, as we spent a bit more than we’d originally budgeted for my new camera.  I’m cool with that.  I love my camera :)

Snow Christmas morning?
I just count it a blessing if the temp drops below thirty!  That’s celcius folks.  Something like mid-eighties F.  We live no where NEAR the snowfields in Australia and the whole ‘Christmas in summer’ thing kind of nixes the whole snow idea anyway, LOL.

Thanks Kel!  As for the rest of you, if you want to use this as a meme, feel free to steal :)

I can’t help it. I love this movie, LOL.

Bring on December!

However.

Now I can’t bear to throw those stacks of old jeans out.  I must have at least ten full size adult pairs and a few children’s pairs to boot.  Some I could donate (and still might) but other pairs have minor holes and are unsuitable for that, so I was thinking about recycling them into something in the new year, but I don’t know what.  All the tutorials I can find online centre around the very, uh, trendy ‘back pocket change purse’ or ’seat of pants handbag (purse)‘ trains of thought.  That might be fun under normal circumstances but I’m also completely useless with installing zippers.  And I doubt I’m going to need more than one each of those.

So, I’m relying on you, oh fountains of knowledge, to help me come up with some ideas.  I’ve considered a jean quilt but I know if I go to all the trouble of cutting out millions of squares of denim I’ll probably lose interest when I could have used all that fabric in one bigger piece to make something unique.  So before I cut anything, I’m gathering the info.  The only stipulation is that the project be relatively easy.  I can normally fudge my way through the basic level tutorials but essentially, the easier the better :)

Help!

The Rules:

1. Put your iTunes on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag 10 friends who might enjoy doing the meme as well as the person you got the meme from.

* Note: Links direct you to YouTube clips - some professional music videos, some not.  I’ve tried to source tame links but as always, use your discretion.

IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
Learning To Breathe- Switchfoot

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Bring Me Back To Life - Evanescence
What’s this supposed to mean? That I’m dead?  The film clip freaks me out anyhow.

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
I Need You Tonight- Backstreet Boys
Don’t judge me for having a little of the Boys on my iPod!

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
The Space In Between Us - Building 429
There are elements of hitting the nail on the head with this one.

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
Hold Me - Savage Garden
To be held?  To sing in an unnaturally high voice?

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
The Woman With You- Kenny Chesney
Um? I think the YouTube poster meant ‘woman’, as in singular, not ‘women’ as in plural.  That would make it an entirely different kind of song.  Nice lyrics though.

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Not A Day Goes By- Lonestar
The rest of the chorus continues with “When I don’t think of you.”  Of course my friends would think like this.  I’d totally expect them to!

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
What If- Nichole Nordeman
Oh, snap! Snappity-snap-snap-SNAP!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Be With You- Enrique Iglesias
Now technically Talented Hubby is my best friend so the title does seem very appropriate.  Except the lyrics actually go “Now that you’re gone, I just wanna be with you.”  Um, I’d kind of like to keep him please.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR SPOUSE?
I Miss You - Darren Hayes
In light of the last song, I’m starting to get a bit scared…

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Crazy - Simple Plan
LOL - great title for my life, and actually decent lyrics.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
I’m Already There- Lonestar
I first heard this song a few years after 9-11 (was it written specifically for that? I’m not sure) so in my mind it’s a song about a father dying.  The chorus is just beautiful though so I guess if I projected myself into the song I’d like to think I could influence and affect my children and husband in the same way - minus the death part though.  Or something like that!  (Did that make any sense?)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE YOUR SPOUSE?
Your Grace Is Enough - Chris Tomlin
Sweet lyrics.

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Only Hope - Mandy Moore
What? I’m their only hope? LOL.

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
I Love The Way You Love Me- Boyzone
This is one of the appropriate songs, LOL.  I always adored these lyrics (in reality, I walked down the aisle to Bryan Adams’ I’ll Always Be Right There.  It has to be the live version from his Unplugged album though, LOL).

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Time Stands Still - All American Rejects
Why yes - yes it will!

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
So Long Jimmy - James Blunt
Um, okay? My hobby is to find random men on the street named Jimmy (or James?) and then tell them goodbye?

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Mr Mom- Lonestar
My biggest secret dream (that counts, right?) is to see Talented Hubby live out this song.  For even a week.  That would be awesome!  Seriously though, this is one of my favourite ‘housework songs’, LOL.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Almost Here - Delta Goodrem & Brian McFadden
Apparently I have absentee friends.  Well, there is the case of the unanswered text messages Chrissy! Not that I’m dwelling on that or anything.  Nooooo… (LOL)

WHAT’S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
In Another’s Eyes - Trisha Yearwood & Garth Brooks
I both like and hate this song because of its subject.  Which makes it an appropriate choice for this question.  It really would be nearly the worst thing that could happen.

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
The Wonder - Alex Lloyd
People are going to wonder what happened?  People will be amazed at my passing?

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Gotta Be Somebody- Nickelback
This is a song about searching for true love.  Since I got mine, no regrets!

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
The Day You Went Away - Wendy Matthews
Oh, this one should have been for the next question! It’s soooo sad!  It’s a bit older but one of those songs that seems to stand the test of time.

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Bop Bop Baby- Westlife
I’m told Westlife has that effect on some people.  Namely Talented Hubby.  Except in his case, the crying would be because his ears were bleeding.  Pffft!  Though I’ve more or less moved on from the ‘Life, I’ve still got a dedicated folder of the boys somewhere on the iPod.

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Cinderella - Steven Curtis Chapman
Oh, a stab to my heart, on two levels.  First, because my daughter growing up scares me witless, and because of the subsequent events SCC went through which really would be soul-destroying. Losing a child is a paralysing thought.

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Something About You - Five For Fighting
I’m an enigma so hard to understand it’s not ultimately clear whether I have any friends or not?

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
How You Live - Point Of Grace
Isn’t this a great little song?  It’s like a list of things to do to enrich your life.  So if I haven’t done some, then I’d go back and tackle them.  Reminds me of I Hope You Dance by Le Ann Womack.

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Right Here Waiting - Richard Marx
This is the first song I can ever remember loving with my whole being.  Don’t mock me.  You know you loved it too, LOL (and Oh My Gosh folks - THE HAIR!)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Something To Believe In- Bon Jovi
Not exactly the nicest song around despite the title.

That was fun!  Plenty are not-so-accurate (just listen to the opening lyrics of that last one!) but there are enough totally apt ones to make this a cool exercise!

Oh, and what is up with all the country songs coming up? Out of 700+ songs on my iPod I managed to score three by Lonestar.  The universe is trying to tell me something perhaps?

I tag everyone!

Okay, not technically wordless, but it warrants an explanation, LOL.  Tucking nearly-7yo Moo into bed last night (she shares a room with her brother), I spy this delightful list of rules for a mythical ‘Girls Club’ pinned to the underside of the bunk above her (she’s on the bottom bunk and likes to hang her toys from the bedframe above).  Just in case you can’t make out the words:

Girls Club Stuff

1.  We rock / boys drool.
2.  Are (Our) club is on my bed.
3.  We keep the door shut and have alone time.
4.  If boys come in we tell Mum we (are) have (ing) alone time.
5.  Sometimes we stop for food / drink.
6.  We say to boys girls rock and boys drool.
7. 
8. 
9. 
10. 

I’m particularly proud of her judicious use of “/”, the fact she’s even messed up the club motto - it’s meant to be Girls Rule, Boys Drool of course - and the spaces she left for adding in new rules as she makes them up.  Atta girl, LOL.

I am so hopeless…that wasn’t even close to being wordless.  Oh well!  Promise I’ll do better next time!

For more Wordless Wednesday, clickety-clack over to 5 Minutes For Mom.

Cheers,
Lizzie

When it comes to tackling the endless paperwork merry-go-round that having three children (in two different schools) inevitably produces, this is my secret weapon:

It’s an A4-sized 5 drawer thingamajig.  Totally it’s real name by the way, LOL.

The labels read: Current Bills, School, Needs Action, To File and To Read.

Current Bills - pretty self explanatory.  I never liked the idea of sticking bills to the fridge where everyone who visited could gawk at how much you paid for electricity this month.  I will put a disclaimer here though.  A large wall calendar or personal planner - one you actually look at every day! - is a MUST if you’re socking unpaid bills away in an unseen place.  It took Talented Hubby ages to understand this approach.  To him, you need to be looking at that bill every day so you don’t forget its there.  As soon as we get a bill in the mail, I make note of the due date on the calendar - ours has huge squares and no pictures.  Boring, but seriously practical :)  Then I put the bill in the top drawer of Command Central.  I check the calendar as part of my Evening Routine anyway and if a bill is due the next day, I’ll put it front-and-centre on the kitchen bench (usually underneath my keys) to remind me to pay it.

School - sometimes the kids have special notices announcing events that require a little more input from me than merely attending.  I note the relevant details on our calendar, and file the note in this drawer.  As I check this daily, I never lose a note and I (almost!) never forget to bring that plate of cookies/volunteer on a stall/see so-and-so to organise a parent teacher interview.  And the notes stay off my already cluttered fridge!

Needs Action - non school related tasks that need completing, such as the recent list of phone calls I needed to make in regards to booking accommodation for an upcoming trip, or hardware store purchases we made note of to complete projects around the home.  Not to be confused with Current Bills, which should have their own dedicated drawer.

To File - When things have been dealt with, sometimes we need to keep them.  Paid bills, receipts, tax information, itineraries, product manuals and so on.  Since the idea with Command Central is not to mimic a perfectly-run office but merely to initially control paper clutter until we have a bit more time on our hands, anything that needs filing in the big filing cabinet (ie, that we need to keep for a period of time), gets tossed in here.  When the drawer is full, I file it properly.

To Read - I like catalogues, LOL.  Since I like to flick through them so much, the ordinary clutter-fix of recycling them immediately after getting them in the mail (or putting a ‘no junk mail’ sign on our letterbox) won’t work - but I can’t leave them stacked in one spot either, because they look messy and tend to breed (especially at this time of the year!)  Things I want to peruse later get tossed into this drawer, including grocery circulars and department store mail.  It works surprisingly well :)  As soon as I’ve looked through them though, out they go.  I’ve been known to cut out single items and paste them on a piece of white paper and tote that to the store rather than put up with a bulky catalogue.  So much easier.

So why does this make so much more sense?

No more loose papers.

No more (well okay, reduced) fridge clutter.

No more “Honey, did you see that slip of paper? You know, the one with the number on it for the guy you met at the place? Who does the thing?”

Everything in ONE spot.

Did I mention it keeps things tidy?

Each day when I’m unpacking the kids uneaten sandwiches and dog-earred library books from their school bags, I do a quick sort of their paperwork.  The time this usually takes is around 30 seconds.  If a task can be completed in a couple of minutes, I’ll sign forms/pay for excursions/check diary for notes right away and return them to the kids’ schoolbags, job done and forgotten (yay for autopilot!).  If it can’t be dealt with immediately, it gets sorted into Command Central.  Later, as part of my Evening Routine, I have a quick looky-see through the drawers to see if there’s anything I can do while I’m having my evening cup of tea.

This set of drawers cost me about $20 but you can certainly set up something similar cheaper - simple stackable ‘in’ trays would work really well (and probably be cheaper, LOL) but I really liked the ‘all enclosed, no chance for escape’ approach :)

For more Works For Me Wednesday goodness, drop in at Rocks In My Dryer!

Time management issues strike again!

I’m so going to bed.  No, really.

Lemme just read these here blogs for an hour twenty five minutes…

In other news…has anyone noticed that there’s a MERE MONTH UNTIL CHRISTMAS DAY?  I have not shopped.  At all.  This is terribly unlike me.  But this year I just realised buying stuff simply for the sake of ’tallying up’ over the holiday period is a complete and utter waste of money.  I know.  I’m a slow learner.  This year, the only things on my ideas list for the Piglets were bikes, desks for their rooms (one each) and a puppy - and even then, the bike idea will probably be passed on as an idea for the grandparents.  This puppy will cost a bomb, some of which will of course have come out of our usual Christmas budget, but it’s more about the simplifying this year.  I must admit, it’s rather liberating not to have a ‘wish list’ from each kid in my purse at all times (in case I see ‘the’ present while I’m out and about), or to be rushing around getting to this or that sale.  I’m not completely off the hook - there are still extended family presents and stocking stuffers to get, but we take it pretty laid back in that department around here :)

Cheers,
Lizzie

I have a confession to make.  I’m no martyr.  In fact, there are days when the absolute last thing I want to do is to be a parent - shhh, don’t tell anyone!

Whilst I love my kids to bits, the reality of having a special needs child is that it’s exhausting work.  You have to think ten steps ahead at all times.  You can’t do as many things together as a family.  Cinemas are out, restaurants that don’t include cookies on the menu or plastic play equipment are a no-go and a ‘real’ holiday, one where you go a bit further afield than Grandma’s, seems impossible.

Before long, the wonderful ‘challenged-but-enjoying-it’ attitude you’ve worked so hard to show the world begins to crack.  Suddenly you’re raising your voice to the kids.  You’re hard-pressed to find the enthusiasm to eat a sandwich, let along prepare meals for the family.  Housework is a distant memory.

My husband once mentioned to me a fantastic analogy for stress which I’ll share with you know:  Imagine your life as a bucket, and the everyday stresses as the raindrops which fill it.

Every day, even if you don’t realise it, the raindrops add up.  Some days a lot - perhaps Junior had one of his world-famous meltdowns in the middle of the supermarket - and some days hardly anything at all.  Suddenly you come to the realisation that your bucket is almost full.  You’re almost at your limit.  Even just one extra drop and you’re going to overflow.

This is where respite care is worth its weight in gold.

Initially I was quite apprehensive about the whole idea of respite care.  I didn’t much like the idea that I would be handing over my children into the care of a relative stranger.  I was used to our son’s unique personality and worried about the poor respite worker being lumped with his difficult behaviour.

I needn’t have worried.  Our respite worker Rose came for a ‘meet-and-greet’ before our first real respite night and she and the kids hit it off immediately.  A huge plus for us was also that all workers contracted to our respite program carry a senior first aid certificate and other qualifications such as a manual handling certificate.  Not to mention having specific special needs care experience in spades.

Some folks choose to use their allocated respite hours to run errands which they might not otherwise be able to fit in around caring for a loved one twenty-four hours a day.  My husband and I have been quite lucky in that regard - we’ve always had various combinations of childcare, kindergarten and now school to give us that break during the day to get the basics done.  What we were lacking, however, was time alone in the evenings.  So we use our time on ourselves, often going out to dinner and a movie.  It’s a wonderful time.  Without the use of this respite service, we would have to give most of this up - it’s a rare thing indeed to find a regular babysitter who is both trustworthy and infinitely patient and we live too far from relatives to impose on them very often.

I once read a statistic that said parents of a special needs child have a much greater risk of divorce than the national average of about one in two marriages.  Technically speaking, the odds are stacked against us.  Having the ability to spend time together, without the added pressure of having our brains on auto-pilot, has been a godsend.

We think of it as ‘emptying our bucket’.

* This is the second in a series I’m calling The Mama Bear Files. Originally written 2005.

Postscript ~ Clearly, a lot has changed since this was originally written.  We are still accessing respite care but a lot of the issues that were once prevalent concerning what we could do as a family no longer stand (thank goodness!)  J was only 6½ when this was first written and now, at age 10, we’re blessed to have a lovely - and mostly agreeable! - child :)